Text messaging

I'm addicted to text messaging. I can't quit. I need a 12 step program for it. Well that among other things. Most of my text messages are just funny goofy ones from Nicki. But alot are important. Like the time I got seperated from everyone at Carsons and couldn't hear if I called anyone. So texting directed me to the right part of the bar. Also important to send out pictures of my poor car when it got hurt and pictures of this dude we call atm for Nicki. Last night I read back over almost every text message in my phone and taken out of context they all look a little weird. Let me share a few.


Amber:just saw the suitcase Raymond.
Brian: please?
Jeremy: oh well, hopefully I will win when I go to vegas!
Amber:no shot
Amber: my ass hurts
nicki: kelly clarkson is on saturday night live
nicki: amber isnt smoking pot is she
nicki:dont shop lift the pooty
nicki: stop talking like that i cant understand you
ron: you'll really love blog
sheila: amber is looking for you call her
sheila: is there something you would like to tell me
ron:last call
ron:call me
ron:die please
nicki:i love lamp


So anyway, you can see how my life would be different if I had not received these messages and never knew if Ambers ass hurt or if Nicki loved lamp. Oh and I had "I love lamp" in there at least 25 times.

Is my aunt early this month?

I'm very thristy. And people are getting on my last nerve. Please tell me it is 6pm.



Or I was thinking on Sunday that this would be good with diet limeaid from Sonic.

School days

School days, school days,
Dear old golden rule days.
'Readin' and 'ritin' and 'rithmetic,
Taught to the tune of a hick'ry stick.


I got my 10 year high school reunion information today. Grrreeat. Thinking about this for the last 10 years I always thought I would go. Now that the moment is here to make plans to go I don't really feel like it. I don't keep in touch with any of the kids I went to school with. I hear updates from my mom who talks to some of their moms and that is about it. I really would only be interested in seeing a couple of the girls. I could care less about the other 140 people. So it starts on Friday evening and is over with Sunday after brunch. What a pain. And it's over the weekend before 4th of July. Uggg. So a plane ticket to Denver (which is still going to leave me with a 4 hours drive) is $288. I could drive up there but god what a PITA. And I'm going to have to take vacation that I don't even have yet. Alright and admittedly I don't have a lot to show for 10 years of being an "adult".

Husband- nope
job-check
good paying job-nope (but still better then most of what those losers that stayed in NE are getting
looks-ok those are still good.check
kids-nope
house-nope
successful-in some ways....sure if you count weighing the same weight I did when I graduated, able to drink more than any girl my size should, got Pat Greens autograph 15 times, knowing all the bars in Dallas and where happy hour specials are, having a immaculately clean apartment always, and a bitchy cat. Though if I try to see the bright side of things...I have a bunch of really great girlfriends that I love to death and are more important to me then any dumb teenager girl I ran around with. I have a nice car and a roof over my head that I pay for by myself and don't have to depend on someone else for. I have fun. I still make people laugh. I'm still young at heart and act it.



I think I'm going to go buy Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion tonight. And all I'm going to eat our jelly beans and gummy bears in honor of it. I think I cut my foot earlier and my shoe is filling up with blood........

Gee like I needed to take the test

You are Daisy Duke. You like to dress sexy. You
invented short shorts. Whenever anyone needs a
pretty face or a damsel in distress, you're
there. The charms of others are not lost on
you.


What Dukes of Hazzard Character are you?
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I love pearls before swine

Hangovers

Oh my. There is actually a song for this

Hangover~B-side

I had a lot to drink last night
I almost got into a fight
And something doesn't feel right about it
I woke up this morning feeling rough
I knew my day was gonna be tough
And I have had enough, or have I?
I wish I could be sober
When I'm feeling hungover
I know I'll be winning when my ceiling isn't spinning yeah, yeah!
It's really getting to my brain
I'm tired of waking up in pain
I swear I'll never drink again, but will I?
I wish I could be sober
When I'm feeling hungover
I know I'll be winning when my ceiling isn't spinning yeah, yeah!



Top things I hate about hangovers
-nausea and or vomiting
-being hot all day
-very hot flashes
-uncontrollable body jerks out of nowhere
-heart racing as I try to fall sleep *this could also be the redbull*
-being so hungry but unable to actually eat anything
-the 8 trips to the bathroom that I take and the 3 rolls of toilet paper needed
-flashes of memory of things I did the day before
-feelings of embarrasment when checking call history on cell phone
-thinking i am better and then the nausea kicks back in only worse

Top things I love about hangovers
-feeling skinny *see items one,six and seven above*
-uncontrollable giggling at really stupid stuff
-wittiness at all time high

Yet another car post

Dear dear Hondie,
I apoligize for taking you for granted. I'm sorry I let people leave their beer cans lying on the floor. I know it's inexcusable to allow plastic cups to litter your beautiful interior. Especially when one had 2 tablespoons of milk left in it that sat in the hot sun for 2 days and made you smell like rotten baby diaper. To show that cup a lesson I gave it away to never be seen again. :( I'm sorry I didn't take you for your oil change like I promised you on Saturday. If Amber had taken me to you I probably would have made it there. But instead I ended up going to the mall, to a bar, to a restaurant, and it just got completely blown off. Then later I allowed my friends and I bar smoky selves to polute your seats all the way home just to crash you into a garage door. I felt sick with worry all that night (so sick I got sick in the bathroom and had to use a plunger) and the next day I could hardly live with myself. I promise when I get you back that I will:
Get your oil changed
armor-all inside
vacume
go through a good car wash
clean your junk out of yo trunk
park you next to your favorite cars at work, even if I have to get there early to do so.
and look into some maintenance as soon as i finish off paying your stupid...err i mean very lovely deductible.

Now not to make you laugh Hondie but you have to see what I'm stuck with until we meet again.


This thing is going to kill me. I can't get onto highways with it like I can with you. I'm now one of those get in the far right hand lane cars so that I can build up enough umppff to get in another lane. I can't cross lanes of traffic with finesse. I can't drive in the wind over 55 without losing control of the car. And sometimes I can't even drive against the east winds. Oh and making it go a normal 70 seems to make it drink insane amounts of gas because already I'm almost to half a tank. What does this piece of shit hold? 7 gallons? It had better. Oh and I know I've probably blown your speakers, Hondie, but this piece makes it sound like my pat green is playing in a card board box in the trunk.

In summation, I miss you Hondie and I vow to treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

I love you from your headlights to your taillights,

Sarah

No updates

Hmmm.....Not too newsy right now. I have no thoughts to share really. So I'm going to share some of Jack Handy's.

Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don't know what your rights are, or who the person is you're talking to. Then, on the way out, slam the door.

To me, it's always a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?," you can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."

It makes me mad when people say I turned and ran like a scared rabbit. Maybe it was like an angry rabbit, who was going to fight in another fight, away from the first fight.

Love can sweep you off your feet and carry you along in a way you've never known before. But the ride always ends, and you end up feeling lonely and bitter. Wait. It's not love I'm describing. I'm thinking of a monorail.

If you want to be the popular one at a party, here's a good thing to do: Go up to some people who are talking and laughing and say, "Well, technically that's illegal." It might fit in with what somebody just said. And even if it doesn't, so what, I hate this stupid party.

How come the dove gets to be the peace symbol? How about the pillow? It has more feathers than the dove, and it doesn't have that dangerous beak.

Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk.

Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home, his face might burn up.

I wonder if Dracula ever has ticks.