My guide to the state fair

*Drink captain and diet before going to the fair. It makes the beers that much better.
*Don't wear sunscreen. It may be October but it's still gonna be fucking hot out there and everyone needs one last sunburn before the winter.
*Spend lots of money trying to win a stuffed animal.
*Play the game where you have to catapult a rubber chicken into a bucket. It's impossible to win.
*Chug the rest of your warm beer right before getting on a ride.
*Don't wear a pony tail holder so that your hair completely covers your face and you can't see a thing while on the rides.
*Eat as much fried food as you can.
*Then ride some more rides.
*Watch man eat 35 Krystal burgers and win eating contest.
*Spend very little time in the auto show in the nice cool air conditioning.
*Top all this off with Taco Bell and sleep with a belly full of crap.